February 2012
51 posts
ITS HER BIRTHDAY GO WISH HER A HAPPY... →
it was the fourth date and this guy took me back to his place. we were getting it on and then while we’re nearly undressed he tells me to wait a second, so i go onto his couch and wait for him there. he brings out a big dildo and i’m like, um ok, what are you going to do with that? and he says, “oh, this isn’t for you. it’s for me. i like it hard and fast so do your...
Anonymous asked: A few weeks ago I was hanging out at a laser tag lock in with the guy I like and then near the end of the night after flirting with me and everything he kissed me and then said "I'm still single." so I was like "Oh..." and walked away almost in tears.
One time a date and I were have dinner at a restaurant on a dock. It was a nice enough evening until a man in his underwear ran through, jumped on our table screaming bloody murder and dived out the open window into the sea.
Well I was casually seeing this girl, we’d see eachother at the gym and talk on the treadmills. One day I asked her to go for drinks, things were going well but by the time I had my 2nd beer she was on her 5th fruity fishbowl drink. The conversation took some weird turns and I ended up having to explain to her that she does not pee from her vagina and that it’s a separate hole, she...
I once had sex with my girlfriend while she was on her period at some hotel through a school trip… she left the sheets bloody, panicked and put them in safe in the closet.
About two years ago on Valentine’s day my boyfriend of three months told me he had to tell me something and when i met him at the park his best friend was there and he said, “i don’t think this is going to work out” He grabbed his friend’s hand and said “we’ve only been together for three months but he and I have been together for 11 and I’m done...
I was at this guys house and we were watching movies when we started making out and he started to finger me. Apparently the fact that I seemed to be enjoying it was a sign that I was keen for commitment, because he then took the opportunity to RIGHT THEN ask me to be his girlfriend. While his fingers were inside me. How romantic. So in what I consider to be an Oscar winning performance, I smiled...
On my second date with my now ex-boyfriend, we were laying in the sand at the beach when he jumped and scratched his back. When he drew his hand away, it was covered in dripping green goo. I looked at his back and a seagull had literally busted its diarrhea all over him, it was the grossest vareity of colors and we didn’t have anything to clean it off with, so he had to walk across the...
I was about to lose my virginity to this girl I’d been dating for a while, but she hadn’t trimmed her fingernails, which I was too dumb to notice, and she scratched the inside of my vagina really badly. We both thought that was just my hymen breaking until we realized the bleeding wasn’t stopping.
This guy took me to the movies once and we had a great time. After the movie we hung out at his place and he kissed me. When he pulled back he whispered “Am I a good kisser? do you think your bestfriend jenna would wanna go out with me?” and I was like oh
Anonymous asked: You will never be tumblr famous because you refused to be nice and accept others' opinions. Js and have a good day.
Anonymous asked: "send submissions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" even though, i'll probably hate it so you just wasted both of our time.
Anonymous asked: Once my date and I were at his house watching a movie. I was having stomach problems so I went to go to the bathroom, but the toilet wasn't working and he was in the other toilet, and I really had to go. I didn't know what to do so I pooped on his living room floor and covered it with a couch pillow. He came out and asked what it was, and I blamed it on his dog. He replied "I...
mandaleepanda asked: I submitted a story but it never showed up :3
A few years ago on my birthday I was making out with my then boyfriend, and he just sticks his finger in my butt without asking permission or anything. I asked him what he was doing and he pulls his finger out, looks me dead in the eye, says “happy birthday” and then licks his finger
One time this guy asked me to go to a party with him and i was like okay, then we went to this party and everyone was drinking so i asked if he could take me home. well he took me to the beach and asked if he could eat me out and i was like okay. ‘cause i never had that done to me before and was curious to how it felt. He was really bad at it & i was actually relieved when a cop caught...
one time i went to the symphony with my boyfriend and during intermission he asked if i wanted to go on a walk so we went to this parking garage stair case and hooked up and i heard someone coming down the stairs so i turned my head to see if someone was coming and when i looked back at him he had this terrified look on his face and he came everywhere on my nice dress, face, hair. and I had to...
SEND SUBMISSIONS PEOPLE!
Anonymous asked: I pooped in the car.
Anonymous asked: My girlfriend knows I'm sensitive. Every time I go over to her house she tickles me until I jizz in my pants. One day her parents saw.
I went on a date a few weeks ago. After dinner we went back to his place and I had to GO! I have stomach problems so some food is sensitive to me, when we got to his house I ran to the bathroom with explosive diarrhea. While I’m in there he tells me that his water is turned off because a pipe burst earlier, so I can’t flush the toilet. When I get out I immediately make an excuse to...
once I went on a date with this girl to a restaurant. I ordered jumbalaya and it had some spice in it that I’m allergic to. When I ate it I had an allergic reaction and passed out. I woke up in the hospital and she said it was over.
Anonymous asked: yeah well I think you're a sexist cunt. i don't think i've yet seen a submission from a straight man.
i was going out with this guy and it was our 5th date and we went back to his. he pushed me onto his bed and we started making out and everything and after a while he started feeling me up and then we were taking our clothes off and he grabbed my boobs and started playing with my nipples. and then he said “the only thing that would make this better was if you had dick nipples. that would be...
phantagasm asked: Can I just say I love how brutally honest you are?
Anonymous asked: you complain about never having submissions then you don't even post ones that people submit. the fuck is wrong with you
my first date ever was at a movie theatre. it was pretty fun, we got some popcorn, and laughed at all the previews. Ten minutes into the movie we started kissing (he kissed like his life depended on his tongue being halfway down my throat), but you know I figured it didn’t matter all that much. Then he started feeling me up, but he goes “tell me if you aren’t ready, i wont...
so, this guy kept asking me out & i finally agreed. he took me to the cinema to see Captain America… with his strictly religious parents. i loved the movie & was trying to pay no attention to him although he was all over me. i turned round at the end to see this guy had a huge hard on… his parents hate me omg
One time I went on a date with this boy from school and things got heated back at my place. He was going down on me and I accidentally peed in his mouth. I was so embarrassed, I cried and he awkwardly comforted me while I got him mouth wash. Then he transferred out of all my classes.
I was asked out by this guy I really liked, he even called it a date, to go to the movies. Apparently he brought another girl too, and they made out the whole time while I just sat there..
SUBMIT YOUR BEST WORST-DATE STORIES:
www.helldate.tumblr.com/ask
PLEASE REBLOG!
Alright, so I know this is long overdue - and you don’t have to post this, because it might cause drama and I apologize - but I was the person who submitted the post about the “transgender” date. We’re still friends and we still talk to one another. It was just really awkward and it was a mutual agreement that me going over to their house would be uncomfortable for both of...
This guy asked me out for dinner and a movie. He was cute and nice, so I figured why not? Dinner went fine. He was funny as hell and a real gentlemen. Then we go to the movie. I get up to go to the bathroom while the previews are still showing. When I come back he has his limp dick out and he’s pointing at it with one hand while his other hand is giving me a thumbs up. I told him to go fuck...
Anonymous asked: is there some reason you don't queue anything? your blog would probably be going much better if you did, because then updates would be steady and people would more regularly see it on their dash instead of random bursts when not everyone is online.
Anonymous asked: one time i went over to a boy's house i hadn't met before. we talked online for awhile, and even though he lived close we never got a chance to hang out. we had a date planned out, with cuddling, kissing, food, movies, etc. when i got there, he wanted to smoke weed. i agreed. apparently the shit was so strong instead of being happy i started hallucinating and shaking and i ended up...
So one time I went out with this guy from school, and we headed back to his place, and he was leading me up to his room and when we got in his room we started undressing and when he pushed me on his bed I was staring up at his roof and it was plastered with photos of Oprah…
i tried going out with this guy in high school, and he was supposed to pick me up, but i ended up having to go pick him up from his house, pay for our movie, and take him back home, and when i dropped him off his mom came outside in her bathrobe to offer me a bag of extra sausage she couldn’t fit in her freezer.
JESUS CHRIST okay you guys blame missing E. they took away the reblog yourself function so i always reblog to HELLDATE!
SPEAKING OF THIS BLOG, it’s going to die unless people start to send in submissions because i almost never get any.
Once I was on a date with my new boyfriend, whom I had not yet introduced to my extremely conservative parents. He dropped me off at the end of the night, and we started making out in his car in front of the house (my parents were out as well). All of a sudden we were interrupted by my dad flashing his high beams at us.
This really cute guy from school asked me out. I said yes and was super excited. He picked me up on the day took me to his house. He left me with his sister and went to meet up with his girlfriend. He only asked me so he wouldn’t have to look after his sister instead of meeting up with his girlfriend.
Haven’t had any submissions in quite a while.
www.helldate.tumblr.com/ask
Anonymous asked: What's your personal Tumblr? o:
I dated this girl for a number of months. At the end of one of our dates, we started making out, as we usually did. This goes on for a while, but the she stops me. She says, “I was praying today… I think Jesus is telling me we shouldn’t date any more.” So we ended it. I got cock-blocked by Jesus.
wow was someone going to tell me i was posting to the wrong blog again like seriously
Okay, I went on a date with this guy because he wouldn’t stop asking me out. I figured, what the hell, it can’t be that bad. He spent an hour talking about Inuyasha and manga and berating me for not being black enough because I hate fried foods and watermelon.
WOOPS WRONG BLOG. that reminds me send submissions!!!!!!!!!
One time I was talking to my friends about how my ex is a massive douchebag so this guy said I should go out with someone nice like him. So we hung out and then he said “let’s go to Target and make fun of fat people and mexicans!” and I thought he was joking. As soon as we walked through the doors he pointed to a hispanic guy and said “look, I found Pedro!”
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So about a week ago I went out with my friends and pulled somebody at the gay bar. I brought him back to mine with a few friends and we partied for a while. He was cute.. Things were going well until it came to the bedroom. The minute I unzipped his trousers there was a funny smell. He was hard when I was ABOUT to go down on him before I noticed the smeg. Jesus fucking christ, the smeg. He cried...
i went on a nice date with a nice guy, and afterwards we went back to my place and he went down on me. i was a virgin and it was the first time anyone had ever gone down on me and i wasnt used to the sensation and the noises i was making were so stupid that i just started laughing and laughing and laughing. he got offended and stormed out.